Little Pheromone Bottle
by Geneivere StarryEyes
Summary: Owen thinks he's sexy and everyone's dream of a good shag.The team decides to play a prank on Owen. Takes place after 'Everything changes'. One Shot,Humor.


**Hi all, here's my first published fanfic, a little one shot set after the very first episode, inspired by Owen's encounter with alien pheromone. Hope you enjoy. Be gentle now, review if you like and tell me if its any good!**

* * *

"…_we shouldn't , we really shouldn't do this!_

_…Oh come on, it'll be fun_

_…_ _I don't feel right right about doing this, it could cause trouble_

..._It'll be fine, relax , aren't you dying to see this ?"_

000

Owen patted his leather jacket fondly and walked into the first bar he came to. He smiled and took out the small conveniently sized spray bottle that fit into his palm nicely – the one that looked like a slightly futuristic cologne bottle. Fondly, he remembered his first trial with the bottle of alien pheromone. He had landed a couple, well he was really going for the broad but she forgot to mention she had a boyfriend which was almost expected from a pheromone crazed mind but not so convenient to deal with so out came the pheromone spray again.

Suffice to say it was a wild night of threesome shagging and being watched and more shagging until Jack had called and demanded Owen get himself and the spray back to the hub.

"How did you know I took the spray?" He had asked Jack.

Jack had replied, "Because it's you and you're a horny son of a …well you get what I mean"

Jack cursorily added," Toshiko also took an alien device from the hub, I'm calling her next"

After that fiasco, the objects were locked away never to see the light of day again, well unless Jack said they could.

000

After many days of pestering Tosh, he had finally convinced her to help him infiltrate the various vaults to find the alien spray and whatever Toshiko was interested in, so they could have get a chance to play around with them. It took some doing but Tosh managed it without them getting caught. Tosh had taken the reader/down loader device which had been so typical of the techie. The rest of the team had been out for dinner which was rare and Owen had begged off. They had shaken their heads but hadn't tried Owen to come with them.

* * *

Owen took a seat at the bar and looked around casually, barely suppressing a smirk. Theis place was filled with good looking couples and singles; chatter and din filled the room with a vibrant energy and the bar tenders moved with slick efficiency, serving drinks with quick, unending movements. And like always, someone soon caught his eye, a slender girl with a cool conservative look, black cascading curls and a lightly tanned complexion. Her long neck gleamed while ordering a drink. She smiled slightly as she gulped down her drink and wiped her mouth with a napkin. He went up to her and slid into the empty barstool by her,swinging on the stool to more easily face her.

"It's a nice evening, ain't it sweet heart?" his deep voice came out sounded like a low rumble and it was loaded with excitement. She sneaked a peek at him and then ignored him.

"How's about I buy you a drink sweetheart?" he said with his usual cocky attitude. His hand reached into his jacket and bought out the spray. Aimed it casually at his face and sprayed. The liquid misted, the girl did nothing except twitch one of her eyebrows.

"Let me buy you a drink then we can take this to my apartment"

She finally looked at him. And cursed, "The hell I always meet all the bloody freaks" A freak. That was Owen. Owen opened his mouth in surprise.

"Sod off you pervert bastard." Her voice was rather big and it seemingly echoed; She swung off her bar stool and stalked out the bar muttering something about perverts and shameless men.

It took the Torchwood doctor a moment to recover from his shock and another to realize that the contents of the bottle did not work. Okay maybe he had chosen a too conservative type but that didn't make sense - the alien pheromone was supposed to work regardless of moral levels. He looked across the room and saw a busty, blonde; decided to try her next. He glided over and offered a smile while simultaneously spraying him self with a mist of pheromone. The girl's own smile faded and she looked at him oddly. A strapping male who had been involved in another conversation, turned his attention to her and Owen. Owen saw the warning in his eyes.

"Is THIS person bothering you babe?"

Owen tried the spray again with no effect – nothing. And this couple was starting to look annoyed.

"Mate, I don't want any trouble" Owen said tightly and steered away from them; and tried another girl with the same result, and anther, and another, and another.

"The hell is dis?" he asked the bottle morosely. The bottle as expected did not reply.

He returned to the hub at midnight, despondent after a few hours of being rejected. The night was disappointing and the pheromone spray was apparently broken. He plonked the bottle down audibly and hung his head on his desk and groaned.

"I didn't get any tonight and why isn't this thing working" From his head down position on the desk, he glanced at the pheromone spray venomously.

Jacks voice came in reply suddenly, along with giggles from Gwen and suppressed sounds from Tosh.

"Because that's a duplicate bottle, it has nothing but ionized water in there"

Jack held the genuine bottle in one hand like it was on display with a flirty, jaunty smile. The gang had come up from one of the archives below. Tosh was balancing a laptop in both hands and Jack was grinning. Owen's face reddened and his expression managed to be pathetic and savage at the same time.

Ianto came up from below just then, his arms full of papers,"How was your night Owen?"

He posed the question in his welsh accent and smiled realized belatedly that Ianto was in on it too when Ianto gave a small, good-nature laugh; his gentle expression managing to also look like a disguised smirk at the same time.

"You bastards," Owen growled "You sneaky bastards!"

"You…you…" words failed him and Tosh's suppressed sounds gave way to near hysterical laughter.

"Your face Owen its priceless… Gwen WAS right, this was worth seeing!"

"Oh sod off Tosh," He pushed back the chair in a weak attempt of looking menacing. Laughter joined his action and he sunk back into his chair, "Bollocks, that was embarrassing!"

"That would teach you to go about getting pick ups da normal way Owen,"drawled Gwen; the victim aimed a glare at her and Tosh.

"I'm sorry Owen, I am," Tosh said between breaths, "forgive me ...please do!"

Gwen fell into further fits of giggles over Tosh's reaction. Both pink cheeked. Jack whacked Owen with the sheaf of papers he had taken from Ianto and went back to his office chuckling over his bit of fun. The real bottle of alien pheromone went back into the vault where it belonged and Owen threw the fake one in the bin, his mind full of thoughts of revenge and retribution.


End file.
